I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
