The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
