it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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