oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
