Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize