i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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