and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
