So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
