He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have fence marks all over my body
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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