Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
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