I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
