And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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