Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
