I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Randomize
