i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
