i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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