maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Come share oat with me in your robe
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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