No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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