dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
A bitchslap is in order.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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