Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
