Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
