You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
