Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
