Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
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