Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
