Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
