Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
