I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
