i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
