Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize