Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
