He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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