We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
