don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
