I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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