BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dignity is for republicans.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
