I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
