My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
