I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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