he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
