dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
