Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
