Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
