Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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