He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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