I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
