that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
