What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize