they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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