Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
