His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
