S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
