Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
