Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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