ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize