dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
