apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
