That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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