Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
